I Just Want You To Know

Posted on April 9, 2020 by Raivenne

And I don’t want the world to see me
Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
“Iris” by the Goo-Goo Dolls / “City of Angels” Soundtrack

Some question my sanity year after year
That I’ m not quite right is abundantly clear
Stepping in and out of darkened lucidity
The voices in my head are mostly a minor din
But that yellow dress you wore that day did me in
It was the red cape to the bull of my insanity
And the voice gained control was full of hate
As you stepped to me smiling sealing your fate
For my mood was downright ugly
And I don’t want the world to see me

I don’t deny what I’ve done to some women is sick
But you weren’t like those yacht girls who fall so quick
All their smiling as they think I’m at their command
They dangle promises of a young love so sweet
But it’s me holding their hearts, feeling their heat
And then ripping it from them with my bare hand
But you, you disregard all concepts of my deceiving
My inner voices wondering why aren’t you leaving
Never having had an experience like this firsthand
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand

False yore flows from my cruel lips with ease
Yards of lies with an inch of truth to please
The truth a means of passage, merely a token
So you yawn in my face, knowing it’s unwise
And yet you laugh seeing the truth in all the lies
Behind every filthy word I’ve ever spoken
From you the truth shines bright and sure
The lightness of your heart, ywis so pure
But can I believe your heart is solid – oaken?
When everything’s made to be broken

And so you survived more than just the night
Even knowing down deep I may never be right
For goodness knows I really didn’t give a damn
If you drowned in all the tears you yield
Brought on by all these damn fears I field
‘Cause you were never part of the program
But you’re still here and nothing denies
How I yearn for the feel of your light in my eyes
But mine are the eyes of a tragedy ma’am
I just want you to know who I am

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One of my favorite poetry forms: a Glosa.

dVerse Poets Pub: Open Link Night #268

Phoenix

Posted on April 8, 2020 by Raivenne

Like a phoenix to a flame he comes

Swearing up a blue streak
The grain of his outer staff
Perfectly matching my inner sculpture
I weather the frothy current
Tinkling down the esophageal path
In a flight of carnal – carnival – carnivore joy
The apparition of the newly dead bird laid to rest

But then phoenix rises

Calm in the Midst of Covid

Posted on April 7, 2020 by Raivenne

I went to my office to work. On a much needed break to …

get coffee
rest my eyes and
absorb some sunshine to replenish my Vitamin D stores

… my work wife and I go to the only place that is open around the immediate office area.

Until this past weekend, we have had back-to-back rainy or at minimum dreary days. This did absolutely nothing to ease to ease the cabin fever that was beginning to sink in. Another reason I was grateful when my work wife offered a ride as she was going in as well.

Let’s see… Be in a car for 40 minutes with a person I know is not sick or spend over an hour on mass transit around who knows how many strangers who either are not able to observe the at least 6ft of social distancing being asked of us while riding the subway or who simply refuse to observe. I think you can guess which path I chose to take to work.

Three weeks ago in the New York City before Covid-19 there were scant signs heralding the early spring season; not so any more.

The very first of the tulips planted annually had begun to bloom! Even better was the sight of these…

Cherry blossoms in The Commons at Metrotech

The Cherry Blossom trees had blossomed! I had not realized how much I missed seeing these annual harbingers until I saw them. For a moment it felt like a normal spring day. Then a masked person walked into view.

Still, I smiled at the reminder that THIS is what’s normal and we will get back to it soon enough.

Slice of Life Tuesday Story Challenge.

Challenge

Posted on April 7, 2020 by Raivenne

Physical… Want… Desire…

It’s interesting how the sudden impulses
to just hold you come about
I want you in my arms
To feel your arms around me

I watch you
the way you walk
the way you speak
I watch the way you

There’s such a passion in even the most
subtle of your moves
That sparks such wanton desire
within my own body
Every instinct in me just
knows

You will be soooo damn good

I’m now tempted to find out
to prove myself right
will the reality of you
be equal to the desire

are you ready for a challenge…?

Flower

Posted on April 6, 2020 by Raivenne

There’s a flower that’s grown
inside my heart
from a seed he’s planted there

Somehow it endured
despite the coldness
despite how hard I tried

To keep it from growing
I was never prepared
for the warmth of sunshine

That came from his smile
or the rain of tears
from his empathy

Gently pulling away the weeds
that threatened to harm
with his gentle touch

And the flower grew

Strong and beautiful
Until I could no longer fight it
And no longer wanted to

Aquarius and Virgo

Posted on April 5, 2020 by Raivenne

My waters flow over her
through her
around her
surround her
 
It cleanses, refreshes
and she rises forth
an African Aphrodite
pristine in my waters.
 
Life springs from her merest touch
a casual toss of her hair
can coalesce  into
a  summer's shower
or winter's gale
 
Yet his still waters roil
in the tempest of his anger
I can not burn
My Adonis Nubian
his waters peak
my mountains white
I can not freeze
 
Within the deepest flow and ebb
of his love though I am
completely submerged
in the silken currents
I cannot be drowned.
Nor can my thirst
ever be quenched.

I Never Expected

Posted on April 4, 2020 by Raivenne

And you’d think it was you who called it off
At my own damned hubris do I scoff
Worse thing I ever did – how could I know
Would be to be so stupid in letting you go

Too afraid to tell you what was needed
You said I’d be sorry, you succeeded

I expected anger

How you made me strong was a weakness I’d deride
Though I knew it for truth, I was too deep in my pride
Knowing I lie, when I say I’ll get through this
Now trapped in the feeling my own hubris

All that’s left are the memories,
Once dear to me, now sear through me

I expected anger
I expected I might be sad

The empty bottles aren’t drowning out the din
When midnight finds me sobbing once again
You were all I had and I threw all
For I never learned how to beg, never knew how to crawl
And that’s my my downfall

I expected anger,
I expected I might be sad

But no, I never expected to hurt so bad

Felix with a Chance of Fido

Posted on April 3, 2020 by Raivenne

The morning air purred contentedly
In azures bright and clearly
Enough to see forever

Comforting as a warm wrap and a good read
Oh put it in a box for me indeed
In retrospect I should have known better

Of course it’s going to turn like this
The barometer drops to ruin my bliss
And the azures hiss and howl to a sleet of slate

I retrieve my umbrella placed out of sight
For the barking and caterwauling out tonight
Felines and canines dampening on our date
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Having silliness with a common analogy for uncommon weather

I Never Guessed

Posted on April 2, 2020 by Raivenne

Dawn finds me at the window waiting for the sunlight
As once again I suffered another sleepless night
The once brilliant stars no longer seem as bright
Because you’re not here with me to enjoy the sight

I carry this sense of gloom in the noon of day
The things once beautiful no longer hold sway
I never dreamed how your voice my mind can replay
Or how for the lack of you, my heart does decay

I never guessed how deep
Was your love’s imbue
The vast emptiness inside me
That only you can fill
How much of my life is
Wrapped around yours too
I pray to let you know
Baby, yes I do, love you still

These walls still hold your laughter, carry your scent
A bittersweet symphony that cause my heart’s rent
And staying away from home, does not pain circumvent
For all the reminders of you, in every place we once went

Only when the synergy was gone, did I understand our rapport
How I can’t seem to lift myself, for it’s you who helps me soar
A call, a letter, name it, baby I’m on my knees ready to implore
To beg, to plead, anything to hold you in my arms once more

Our friends say that we are living in a hellish trance
You know without each other, neither of us can advance
I vow to replace every stolen moment of our romance
Just give me the chance, baby, please give me the chance

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National Poetry Month Day 2

Keeps On Moving

Posted on April 1, 2020 by Raivenne

Time
Tick tock
Transient
It can stand still
Yet keeps on moving

Hands
Digits
Grains of sand
It crawls or flies
But keeps on moving

All
What comes
Fore or aft
From womb to tomb
It keeps on moving