I knew when I saw the caller ID this morning it was going to be a crapshow, but I answered it anyway. Usually I can maintain a balance, but not today. Today I chose violence as the kids say an neutrality and diplomacy were shot to smithereens. And things only escalated from there. I have spent a much too long portion of this day in a mood that can only be summed up by the questions I have asked today. All of which were some various form of:
You F-ing KIdding Me Right Now?!
How F-ing Stupid Are You?!
Don’t Your Knuckles Hurt From All That F-ing Dragging?
And You F-ing Thought THAT Was The Best Option?
Today has been a personal and social quagmire. Come tomorrow I suspect there will either be several apologies or a few grudges that are going to be held for a long time to come.
Today might not have been a complete loss, but it certainly was not a win.
I sometimes use my phone to compose posts on WordPress. It’s convenient when I’m not in front om my computer to write my posts. For example, when I’m on the subway and an idea comes to me for a poem. As it’s one Ill have to link to via this blog it made perfect sense to start it here. One less step to do. Yeah, not quite.
Convenient as it is, it comes with with a few problems. I am not the world’s best speller to begin with, I’m prone to grammar typos and don’t forget my adoration of dangling participles. Most of which I don’t catch until after my post has been published. And oh, let’s not talk about the autocuumber – I mean autocorrect. That charming little helper that constantly insists I have no ducks left to give, yet will occasionally decide in a food post that I had fuck a l’orange for dinner. Oopsie!
Add in that my fifteen words per minute typing cannot possibly keep up with my fifteen hundred thoughts per minute mind. I drop words mid sentence. I know I thought them, but the fingers do not reach my keyboard in time before other thoughts and words crowd them out. And le pièce de résistance: big fingers – little keyboard. I’m constantly hitting the c, v, b, n, or m key when all I want is amspace. (<– like what just happened there – oopsie!). Using my phone for drafts is convenient, but a recipe for disaster.
Especially the times when I was not done composing posts, and did not want to lose the work done thus far. At some point I accidentally managed to hit “Publish” because that button is too dang close to the dropdown menu where “save as draft” is hidden. I know the app designers emphasize posting, but it’s bedeviling as all get out when drafting. Because naturally, once I have realized that it’s live, I don’t want to trash it, so now I am scrambling to edit my accidentally published post, only to have hit “update” instead of “save as draft” in the process – yet another oopsie(!). This especially galls me for I constantly tell my students, “If it’s a mess in draft, it will be a mess live. Submitting it will not magically fix anything FUBAR.” Goodness knows this mess of a blog is proof of that. It’s bad enough when working from my PC. It’s especially true for me when composing on a mobile device.
All that to say, so, if you happened to see my first, second, twenty-second, failed attempts of what probably looked like an incomplete or an incomprehensible posts for the few moments it was up before I could fix it, I apologize.
Day 18 of 31 – Come see how the rest of us are slicing it up this Friday!
As a city gal in the northern hemisphere, for me the spring forward of Daylight Savings Time has one and only ONE advantage. I get to enjoy the sight of the planet Venus rising in the morning for a couple more weeks.
I have no idea when I started noticing the ol’ gal in my morning commutes, but once I had I search for her presence each morning with a clear sky. Over time I realized I start to notice her ascent over the rooftop of the elevated subway platform sometime after Martin Luther King Jr.’s here in the States, generally in mid-to late-January. I’ll just look up one clear morning and realize she’s there.
Even though it near the middle of winter she is my very first harbinger of the still a little too distant coming of spring. I notice Venus and within a week or two I will notice the first hints that the days are getting longer. I will catch the final glimpses of sunlight when my trains rises from being subterranean to elevated in the evenings even if only for fifteen minutes before Nyx lays her claim to the skies.
She starts barely noticeable to my left, slowly rising higher and shifting to the right. Come Valentine’s day I usually can spot her ascent from the jagged rooftops the comprise the skyline of my neighborhood as I walk down the hill to the train station. By early March morning skies are lightening and her glowing beauty begins to pale in El Sol’s exuberance. It is such a gradual takeover that I honestly do not notice that I am losing sight of her. To everything turn, turn, turn – after all..
Then Daylight Savings Time happens.
It’s an oddity that springing forward in time on Sunday plunges us backwards into night skies again for a brief time come Monday morning. But that oddity, plus clear skies, gave me this singular beauty floating in what’s left of the night.
See that dot in the sky above the train? That’s Venus.
I know I’ll only have a couple more weeks of her charm at most before Demeter reminds El Sol that Persephone’s is bound for home soon and he needs to help her warm things up for her arrival. That’s okay, even if I can’t easily spot you, I know you’re still there – shine on silver girl.
Day 15 of 31 – Let’s see how others are slicing it out today…
So before posting yesterday’s slice I noticed something:
WHOA! I never really paid attention to my post count. The nineteen items that perpetually reside in my Draft folder, seemingly for all eternity, is one thing. Being aware of how many birds left the nest – I had no idea. I was completely taken aback to realize I’ve done this.
Twelve years ago, just last month(!), I decided to start sharing my one pence with the world and hoped no one wanted back change. It was a little bit daunting to contemplate that I was one click away a from such a milestone. One click away from sharing the one thousandth of my thoughts, poems and general wiseassery on WordPress. And while the mile marker slice I posted yesterday was not anything profound, it was very representative of me.
Can’t really ask for much more than that from a personal blog post.
So I clicked “Publish“
🍾🥂 Twelve years and one thousand posts down and I still feel like I’m only just getting started….
Day 14 of 31 – Let’s see how others are slicing out achievements today…
And today I let my nerdy geek fly when I pointed out to a fellow Game of Thrones fan that technically speaking Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons is actually the Mother of Wyverns.
Geeky? I actually said Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons. (For the more technical, aka Game of Thrones nerdy among you , yes, I know her title is missing at least three more parts, but I ran out of breath typing it, whatevs – go stand in the corner and and call out dracarys!, see how much I’m worried about getting flamed over it.)
Nerdy? I then corrected my own self with is actually the Mother of Wyverns.
What about Vern you say? Glad you asked! (I know you didn’t.)
The George R. R. Martin novels are brilliant. However, whomever designed Daenerys’ ‘children’ for the show a little less so. Was there not one geek/nerd in the art department to fact check, or had someone like me to explain the error of their ways? Or were they outvoted on the technicality because to quote TikTok “Who’s gonna know?/They’re gonna know./Who’s gonna know?” * insert any raising hand gif you want here *. And before any go there, asking but isn’t a wyvern a type of dragon?, is akin to asking isn’t a crocodile a type of alligator? or aren’t salamanders and newts the same thing? Close, but no cigar, Virginia. In TLDR terms, while both are fire breathing creatures, wyvern have two legs, dragons have four. There are other differences, but I shan’t completely nerd out here in such detail you care to know. (I know you don’t.)
But I get why people just call them all dragons, I do. After all, Martin naming his novel A Waltz with Wyvern just wouldn’t have quite the same cachet, would it?
And here’s the crazy thing: I didn’t know I knew what a wyvern was until I said it. I have no idea when I learned it, or even in what context. Hey, I learned some flight terminology from a comic book, you can gain knowledge from the most unexpected places. Still, I guarantee were this Jeopardy! I would have drawn a blank in that needed moment, because that’s also how my brain doesn’t work sometimes. I have so many things on the tip of my tongue at any given moment it’s a wonder I can close my mouth. But I knew I was right about them. It amuses me how these odd pieces of nerf-formation stored in my cranium will crop up in conversations like a whack-a-mole rodent. (I know some want to whack me.)
And usually just unexpected – like yesterday’s post revealing the tidbit on Larry Bird. Or my penceant to randomly name-drop mythological deities with pop-culture references as though Bast, Dr. Strange, Beyoncé, Shiva, Worf, Freya, Childish Gambino and I are close personal peeps with whom I break out the mead, Kanar and ambrosia on any given night for a kiki in Kamar Taj. Hunty!
When these moments happen, I am inevitably asked a variation of how do you know these things? Which my brain generally interprets as why do you know these things? The answer remains the same: I drink and I I know random things – but hell if I know how I know them. (You certainly don’t want to know.)
Day 13 of 31 – Let’s see if others know how they are are slicing it out this Sunday…
From Monday morning my mind has been on GO! It’s been pulling teeth while herding cats in the midst of putting out fires on the professional work front. Meanwhile my personal Inbox of work overfloweth. It’s the reason some of my slices have been posting really late this week. It’s been a string of “I’ll get to it in a moment as soon as I *fill in the blankety-blank-blank*”. Only I get distracted by this, then remember that and and dammit I forgot about whatever… Next thing I know it’s after 9pm-10pm and I’m pantsing my slices. <– That somehow sounds wrong, but I don’t wanna think about it.
Bonus points to those who know where this is from…
I’ve been mentally flying by the seat of my pants all week and I know those planes of thought -because trains of thought are too slow for my needs right now- are about to crash and burn. Sunday starts daylight saving time for most of the U.S. and I’m so tired the thought of losing that hour on Sunday has me worn out. I don’t wanna…
While the above gif is a THISCLOSE second place, this scene below is the most relatable thing to my brain’s processing capacity right now because I don’t…
At least it’s Friday, I think…right? Right.
Day 10 of 31 – Let’s see how others are slicing it out today…
I am not a fan of most creatures with more than four legs. I mean insects. Multi-limbed aquatic creatures are fine, especially in a marinara sauce. [I kid, I kid – sorta]
For instance I can deal with your neighborhood household or field spider. No, let me rephrase that.
I can deal with the household or outdoor spiders that I grew up with or learned to deal with. I’ve seen images of Australian Hunter spiders. Those mofos gave me pause. I’m told they are relatively harmless, but my brain says –fill in all the ways to say aw HELLZ to the NO here-.
Of the spiders I am familiar with, I love trying to capture images of spiders webs, preferably with the architect, and sometimes its prey, there. I will not freak out in the presence of a tarantula IF I know one is there. I have even held a few of the lovely creepy crawlers. However, forewarned is fore armed. It would NOT be wise for any tarantula to suddenly drop onto my lap. Little Miss Muffat would be left in my dust.
And the more legs it has – the less I like it – the faster I’m (over)reacting. Thus I abhor the most wretched of these: house centipedes. Spring is coming and I know I’m about to see a few of them. Why does something that is deadly to other most home insects, but harmless to us humans need to look like that? Why does it need so many freaking legs!
<Okay Raivenne, breathe 2,3,4 – step back – exhale 2,3,4. Pats hair (thanks GG😁)>
Seriously WHY God WHYYYYY? /back of wrist to forehead melodrama – and scene
That being said, it brings me to today’s slice. Imagine my initial reaction when I reached over to my Keurig to get my much needed morning java and saw this…
Because I was in motion, the air displacement cause it moved as though about to climb the mug. Let’s just say it was some VERY tense couple of split seconds to choke down the varying and conflicting reactions that hit:
Do NOT yell in the office.
Do NOT throw the mug and its contents to get that thing away from my desk – think of the COFFEE!!!
Do NOT set fire to it!
Swipe the offender away and crush it under the cold hard heel of my boot and…
Breathe realizing it was only a feather from my freaking coat.
It might have only been a couple of split seconds, but those spit seconds were fright, then fight for my coffee, before just breathe kicked in, let me tell you.
And now I return me and my heart rate to our regularly scheduled attacks and take a sip.
Day 10 of 31 – Let’s see how others are hopefully not freaking themselves out today.
Today is International Women’s Day. A good friend and colleague gave me chocolates in celebration of it. A few minutes later he come t my desk asking if I want to see a magic trick. Naturally, looking for a diversion from the more professionally put are you stupid? email I need to compose, I say yes. He does a whole dramatic swirling thing with hands before making on object magically appear. It was an object I did not see disappear, but that was kind of the point as my earring appeared in his hand with a final flourish.
I immediately reach for my right ear lobe and sure enough it’s missing the earring. I thank him happy it was saved from the graveyard. The what he, and now you, ask? The Jewelry Graveyard.
Welcome to just a small portion of the graveyard. Technically the full graveyard is a box where I place all my broken baubles. The necklaces whose chain broke, rings and bracelets with missing ‘stones’ yoy get it. You know the things that might end up in some multi-media art work of mine on a someday that has yet to happen. Yet.
In the case of these earrings It’s where the lonely, never to be mated again come to sort of die. I say sort of because I do have my Pollyanna moments at the oddest times and this is one. I simply cannot concede one will never be well matched again, that once you lose your mate your value is somehow lessened. I will find the perfect match again. Yes, I am still talking about earrings here.
This section is just one more thing I blame on Covid. Each one of these is a earring from my left ear because the earring from my right ear somehow slipped away. I imagine it happens at one of the several points in the day where having on my mask frustrates me. I either fiddle with it or yank it off. Most times I feel the pull and stop myself, but here is evidence of nine times I failed to do so and I reach work or home or wherever sans a right earring.
And it’s always the right earring! I’ve given up trying to figure out the angles or differences in force ratio to my right that these are all that’s left.
The more I think I cannot be caught off guard by the “ummm why?” of those people with whom I share the office floor, the more those people – and note I did not say co-workers or colleagues, but those people – are determined to prove that I in fact can be caught off guard.
Exhibit A: I walk down the hall at work and encounter this: someone left their dishes in the water fountain.
Okay, “dishes” is bit of a misnomer. It’s not as if there is a stack of plates with remnants of mom’s spaghetti. [Dammit – and here comes Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” to rattle in my head for the next hour.]
I’ll even give credence to the fact that despite the literal dishwashing implement in the dirty mug in preparation for cleansing, clearly the incredibly rude person who did this was only storing the items there momentarily-likely while the used the nearby loos- before they could be taken to the sinks in the pantries. Regardless, that was just wrong.
Yes, there are water coolers -with better tasting, colder, better filtered water- located elsewhere on the floor that most people use. Those water coolers are located in the pantries that bookend the floor. As my floor hosts about 400 seats, 80-90% of which are occupied on any given weekday; the coolers are literally a full street block apart from one end of the floor to the other. This classic water fountain is centrally located on the floor. Regardless, that it is used much less often, it remains a working fountain, I have seen people use the fountain as intended – to drink from.
I can only imagine the utter repulsion of the poor souls who wanted a quick sip at the moment without going to polar ends of the floor to do so and encountered that nonsense. I know I shuddered at the thought.
So typical me, printed a sign and taped it above water fountain: This is not a dish rack. It is a working water fountain. Just because YOU don’t drink from here does not mean others do not.
The fact that I saw the dishes, got annoyed, created and printed the sign and the items were still there when I returned to the fountain to post said sign proved its need for it (in my humble opinion – and some of you know how humble my opinions are). Sign printed and posted I forget about it.
When I left for the day I pass the fountain and note the dishes are gone, but the sign remained. Only now in tiny print in a corner was scrawled Oops Sorry. This morning the sign was gone.
I have no idea if the offender knows I posted the sign. Unless I see the person with the mug I will have no idea of the offender’s ID.
I do have an idea that at least that person will not be so presumptuous about turning fountains into personal dishracks.
Day 4 of 31 – Come see how the rest of us are slicing it up this Friday!
Raivenne-lations 