You walked in as always, someone grand
Full of ego and pride, swagger on display
The tone of my words caused your grin to wane
Releasing myself from you wasn’t planned
But I knew it was right and held my ground
The words once spoken tasted sweet as candy cane
Like summertime as delivered by Coltrane
I know I said goodbye, for that was all left to say
Despite your efforts to get the words all twisted
From the window I watch the receding back of you.
Your snowy footsteps a contrail, as you walk away
Then watched them get erased with a shovel’s scraping
Sometimes letting go is just all you can do
But Miles knows, it’s still just some kind of blue.
And like that it’s as though you never existed
The memory of us already starting to fade
I feel like I should at least want to cry
But my breath on the pane is the only thing misted
And I pour myself a glass, as the witching hour chimes
Snow done falling, staring out at a chilled winter sky
A glass of red ’round midnight, just Thelonious and I
====================
A little etymology here…
The final couplet (the last two lines), is a direct quote of my Facebook status from Saturday. Those two lines inspired this write. I had also promised myself, since I had tried my pen at David James’ Karousel from last week’s FormForAll | Karoulsels and Weaves, that I would finally tackle his Weave form. However, I really like the final couplet so much that I could not bear to separate the lines that inspired it all to fit the form. So, as I am wont to do with forms, and my apologies to David, I compromised. The result you see is a variation on the Weave form. Think of it as adding two extra strands to the pattern. The rhyme scheme here is: abcad cc befbg ff ehiej ii (and so on).
Dont know the form at all, but I am convinced you more than do it justice. Anything that relates to music will always get my vote. Very enjoyable read, glad I found it.
I’m glad you found it also, thank you Tino.
pretty cool that you took this from your status update…ha…and nicely done to form as well….my breath on the pane is the only thing misted…is a power line for me…you def got the emotion in here as well…nicely done…
Inspiration can be found anyway eh? Thanks Brian.
Amazing!
Thanks Laurie.
Don’t kno much about the form and all, but the poem is beautiful! Another wonderful piece, Raivenne!
My thanks as always Charles.
The poem is BEAUTIFUL, Rai… Simply BEAUTIFUL….
Thank you, Bajan.
I love this, and somehow it’s very cool that your FB status inspired your write. I’m thinking the Miles reference must be to Miles Davis. Great title too!
Thanks Bohdirose! Good thinking there on Miles. Each couplet refers to a jazz musician and a known piece from their respective work.
John Coltrane – Summertime
Miles Davis – Kind of Blue
Thelonious Monk – ‘Round Midnight
A great creation, Raivenne…love those references.
Sometimes letting go is just all you can do
true enough and beautifully said
Thanks HisFirefly.
Wow, this painted quite an image in my head. Really intense. Something about red wine and snow. So vivid and bold contrast. Letting go is never easy. I just wrote about that topic tonight (not poetry) and it seems like one of the most complex concepts but yours words say it so well
Red and white is an intense color combination and depending on the shade/tint of red it can take on a myriad of interpretations. Letting go is indeed complex. I’m glad you like my take on it. Thank you Gretchen.
So cool! k.
Thanks K!