Raivenne-lations

Doing what you like is freedom; liking what you do is happiness.

Posted on February 1, 2013 by Raivenne

Promises made in gall of love
The lies some tell in thrall of love

Another sigh while pictures tear
The heart that breaks in stall of love

Lighting a flame, saying a prayer
Things done in hope in call of love

Sometimes one needs to lose to win
The second chance in fall of love

Then chains of fear soon fall away
And Raivenne flies your halls of love

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Trying my hand at a traditional Ghazal form.

brian miller on February 1, 2013 at 5:11 PM said:

someone needs to lose to win in love…truth there…really like that couplet in this…smiling at your closure too…nicely done…

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Tony on February 1, 2013 at 5:46 PM said:

“The lies some tell …” both to others and to ourselves. NIce ghazal and a wise flight at the end

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kkkkaty on February 1, 2013 at 7:41 PM said:

You did well with the briefer version..8 syllables and..nice ending!

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Samuel Peralta / Semaphore on February 1, 2013 at 8:05 PM said:

Shorter lines make it more difficult to comply with everything in the classic ghazal format, so it is impressive that you pulled it off here. Well done.

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marousia on February 1, 2013 at 10:43 PM said:

Love what you have written here

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lucychili on February 2, 2013 at 10:32 AM said:

hopeful =)

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Christina on February 5, 2013 at 9:12 AM said:

Love sucks…and this poem sucks! It gets a 1!

😉

(It’s actually quite lovely and makes me want to write a ghazal).

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