Author Archives: Raivenne

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About Raivenne

I am a Big Beautiful Black Woman and I very much enjoy being one. If you want to know more about me (and you know you do), see my "About Raivenne" page.

Listen and ‘Remember, Remember, Remember…’

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"You ever just listen to a song and remember exactly how life used to be when you first heard it." @grumpyoldgits

A friend posted the above quote on Facebook. I felt it immediately, but I suspect not in the way it was intended. I won’t say certain songs make me want to reminisce about how ‘life used to be’, as the quote implies, because plenty of songs came out during chunks of life I would rather not want to remember, but the way the songs themselves made me feel. The songs that can transport me right back to that feeling upon hearing the first note.

The songs that hit me as hard today as when I first heard them.

I don’t just mean the songs that make me smile or want to move: Whitney’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody”, Beastie Boys “Jump Around”, Pharrell Williams’ “Happy”, Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good”, The Champs’ “Tequila”, Sugar Hill Gang’s “Rapper Delight”, Madonna’s “Vogue”, “Le Vie Bohme” from Rent, Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture” -yes, you read that correctly, Isaac Hayes’ “Shaft”, Usher’s “Yeah”, “Hair” from the musical Hair, Bobby McFerrin’s “Don’t Worry Be Happy”, Beyonce’s “Crazy In Love”, Des’ree’s “You Gotta Be”, Kelis’ “Milkshake”, Propellerheads/Shirley Bassey “History Repeating”, Nelly’s “Country Grammar” and “Hot in Herre”, Stevie Wonder’s “I Wish/Sir Duke”, Mark Ronson/Bruno Mars “Uptown Funk”, Hair/Fifth Dimension’s “Aquarius” and as sort of referenced in the title of this post Irene Cara’s “Fame” et al.

I also mean the songs that made me think: Billy Holiday’s “Strange Fruit”, N.W.A’s “Fuck tha Police”, Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On”,  H.E.R.’S “I Can’t Breathe”, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five’s “The Message”, Linkin Park’s “Hands Held High”,  Isley Brothers’ “Fight The Power”, Childish Gambino’s “This Is America”, RATM’s “Killing In The Name Of”, Gil Scott-Heron’s “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”, John Lennon’s “Imagine” et al. Many are as relevant today as when first released.

And then there are the gut songs. The songs that make me feel some kind of way, it can be love, rage, or something undefined, but oh, I feel them: Foo Fighter’s “I Should Have Known”, Foreigner’s “I Wanna Know What Love Is”, Toni Braxton’s “Unchain My Heart”, The Chicks’ “Not Ready to Make Nice”, Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata”, Metallica’s “Enter Sandman”, “The Unforgiven II”, and “Nothing Else Matters”, Fleetwood Mac “Dreams”, Madonna’s “Frozen”, Sondheim/Bernadette Peter’s “As The Days Go By”, Fiona Apple’s “Criminal”, Eva Cassidy’s “Autumn Leaves”, Earth, Wind & Fire’s “Reasons”, “Day by Day” from the musical Godspell, Herb Alpert’s “Rise” – yes, I know it’s an instrumental – but I feel it, Fifth Dimension’s “One Less Bell To Answer”, “Out Here On My Own” from the movie Fame, Commodores’ “Easy”, Lionel Ritchie’s “Still”, Tracy Chapman “Fast Car”, Shirley Bassey’s “Diamonds Are Forever” and “If You Go Away”, Pink’s “Conversations with My 10 Year Old Self”, Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven”, Sugarland “Stay”, Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”, Linkin Park’s “Crawling” and “This Is My December”, Bruce Springsteen, “41 Shots”, Drowning Pool “Bodies”, Aerosmith’s “Dream On” and so many others. And as my former work wife knows, there is the drum solo heard ‘round the world, Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight”

Also, I was a literal child for quite a few of the songs listed. So older songs like “Stairway to Heaven”, “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”, and “Strange Fruit” – I refer to how they hit and then stayed with me when I was old enough/mature enough to get their full meanings.

None of the above is in any order of preference and by no means a complete list of my genre-hopping polyjamorous tendencies, just a smidgen of what immediately popped into my head as I was writing this. And honestly, mini theatre kid that I am, I could probably do this same post solely with theatre songs, but more than half of Steven Sondheim’s Broadway catalog would be listed, because damn, that man knew how to write a lyric.

Still, all of the songs above have a certain something that moves ME to want to stop whatever I’m doing and be in the moment of that feeling. WMYMV [what moves you may vary].

Let’s see what’s moving others this Tuesday…

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Slice of Life Tuesdays
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Take-Out and Take Off

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Normally, my breakfast at work in cold weather is a cup or two of instant oatmeal or Cream of Wheat. It’s dreary rainy Tuesday here in New York City and I was in the mood for something savory, not sweet. So I pop downstairs to the coffee shop next door -no not Starbucks- where the colonnade protects me from the rain.

The coffee shop has two wood benches outside. A couple of college students are seated on one, chatting and sharing a hot cocoa. They look adorable together and I have the impression they are a couple as I enter. I know most of the staff visually and we acknowledge each other as I place my order for a ham and gruyere croissant and wait by the window as it is warmed for me.

I am looking out at the droplets that drip from the decorations of the annual Christmas tree that arrived last week and is now decorated for the holidays. My idle query on coupledom is confirmed when the two outside share a quick, but meaningful kiss. The two are oblivious to the world, as most young lovers are. I smile move my eyes away, giving them a sense of privacy even if they are not worried about such.

That is when I see him…

A man comes into view. Nothing out of the ordinary, a white short-sleeved dress shirt, black trousers, loafers, his hair could maybe use a comb. As I said, nothing out of the ordinary for a Tuesday morning…

All the way up to the point when, with barely a break in his step, he reaches down, grabs the end of the bench not being used and calmly starts to walk off with it.

Wait. What the actual…?

“Um dude, you might want to rescue your bench. Some guy just walked off with it ” I inform the barista closest to me, just as he is turning to hand me my order. The bench thief is moving surprisingly fast to be dragging the bench behind him for he is out already out of sight.

The barista immediately runs out. I explain what is happening to his coworkers and leave. I don’t see the interaction, a column of the colonnade blocked my view, but I heard the short but volatile Samuel L. Jackson worthy exchange before I see the understandably aggrieved looking barista with said bench under his arm. He thanks me in passing as he returned…

The couple on the bench, in their own little rose-colored glasses world did not realize anything was amiss until the barista ran out. They were unaware the benches were not anchored until the one beside them moved. Even then, because the man really looked like he could have been a low-level manager, they assumed he worked there.

I return upstairs to find out that someone who fit his description was found roaming around the underground carpark of my office building and was ejected from the premises. And all of this was before 9 A.M.

I’m at my desk, sipping my much needed coffee. I’m too leery to wonder what other craziness is in store for today. I fear Universe will take it as a challenge.

I do not want to FAFO.

Let’s see how others are slicing life this Tuesday…

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Slice of Life Tuesdays
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Two Writing Teachers

Timetables and Turntables

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I get to the train platform on time for my usual train. An older woman, and not – I am 61 for reference, is loudly kvetching to all who will listen how the time arrival board has stated a train will approach in 1 minute for over 5 of them. After listening to her for a minute, and realizing this will not end anytime soon, I blatantly pull out my iPod in her face to tune her out – literally. It’s me grooving with some Brothers Johnson.

🎵Feel sunshine sparkle pink and blue playgrounds will laugh if you try to ask
“Is it cool?” (is it cool) 🎶

And yet I can still hear her whinging even as a train finally approaches the station.

As a several decades commuter of NYC transit I do not say a word for I drink and I know things. <– If you get that, you GoT that.

  • The train approaching the station is going to be packed, so I step back and wait for the train after this that I know will imminently follow.
  • That next train will be relatively empty because everyone will have crowded this coming train in the delay..
  • There will always be another train.

    🎵I get knocked down but I get up again you’re never gonna keep me down 🎶

  • Bitching and kvetching only upsets the complainant more. And above all…
  • Neither of which will make a train arrive any faster,  so I chill.

Clearly these are not things some have learned. Or perhaps they enjoy the sound of their own whinge.

IDK and IDGAF as now it’s 🎵Me-ee an-and Mrs. Mrs. Jones... 🎶

Ms. Kvetching brushes past me to take the spot I vacated on the platform to be at the door and presumably push her way into the train. Lo and behold, instead of her boarding said train, everyone on the train push past her to disembark. The train is going out of service.

But dear me oh my! *clutches cyber pearls* The wailing and gnashing of teeth that commenced from her and other commuters!

It worsens when it’s announced over the PA system that no trains will be making stops on the local downtown side until the train that went out of service has cleared the track.

Passengers are advised to take the next uptown train, about seven minutes away by the time board, to the express stop one station away for access to the downtown express that will bypass the station. Several follow that sage advice, including Ms. Kvetching. Another woman then starts outright bitching – really, there’s no other word for it. She is bitching so loud on her phone that those like me who chose to stay on the downtown side can hear her clearly. I mean she is bitching so loud I can hear her from my side of the tracks over my Metallica which universe now plays on my iPod to amuse me.

🎵 Black heart scarring darker still, yes she’ll be there when I’m gone, Yes, she’ll be there when I’m gone, Dead sure she’ll be there…🎶

Two local trains pass on the express track to the chagrin of most on both sides of the track as complaints rise in volume. It does not help that an advert for positions available for hire in the MTA is announced. I have the giggles, but seem to be the only person finding the humor in this. And the humor deities, Thalia and Gelos strike again

🎵 I’m the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral, can’t understand what I mean? Well, you soon will…🎶

There is an unofficial stare down between the many who have now moved to the uptown side of the track and the few of us who have stubbornly?/knowingly?/hopefully? held our ground on the downtown side. Oddly enough it reminded me of the smug look some Mac users have when pulling out their sleek machines among us run of the mill die-hard brick carrying PC users.

A gentlemen seeing that I carry a bulky package I need to drop off to FedEx when I get to work offers assistance if I wish to go to the dark – erm I mean – the uptown side. I decline even as a third local train passes on the express track and he departs for the uptown track.

About seven-eight minutes total have passed

🎵 *Theme to “Rocky” plays* Gonna fly now, flying high now, gonna fly, fly, flyyyyyyyyyy…🎶

There are perhaps about eight of us in my line of vision on the downtown side when another local train approaches – on the downtown LOCAL track. Those of us who patiently waited have Cheshire Cat smiles amongst each other as the opposite side goes into a fresh uproar. I am on the train and smirk as a few young ones who hauled arse from the uptown to downtown side just make the train.

I am mentally howling with laugher at my iPod which continues to be one with the Cosmos in amusing me.

🎵My baby takes the morning train..  🎶

I look out the window and catch the infuriated faces of Ms. Kvetching and Ms. Bitching as my train pulls out of the station without them aboard. I make eye contact with another experienced commuter who also waited and we knowingly smirk as we go our merry little way

Yes, the schadenfreude was massive with me and Digable Planets.

🎵Check it out, man I groove like dat, I’m smooth like dat
I jive like dat, I roll like dat
Yeah, I’m thick like dat, I stack like dat
I’m down like dat, I’m black like dat
Well, yo, I funk like dat, I’m phat like dat
I’m in like dat ’cause I swing like dat
We jazz like dat, we freak like dat
We zoom like dat, we out (we out, we out)🎶

Let’s see how others are chugging down their slice of life it down this Tuesday…

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Slice of Life Tuesdays
Writing Challenge
Two Writing Teachers

Twilight in Summer

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Summer dances, space and earth entwine,
With heated coral velvets and currant wine,
In sunset is how Sol bows and takes His leave,
Thus, His lover ascends in Her night weave
Where verdant grounds in dark align,
As Nyx doth claim Her right divine

dVerse ~ Poets Pub | Quadrille #204 – Summertime, and the Poeming is Easy

dVerse Poets Pub graphic
dVerse ~ Poets Pub

For this week’s prompt, Dee (aka WhimsyGizmo) has perusing a pithy, prestigious little nugget of a quadrille, a poem of exactly 44 words not including the title, but must include some fun or fanatic use of the prompt word “Summer”.

Lamentation for My Father: At Rest

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A strong hand, with stronger words to part
Things that all who knew you well can attest
Yet beneath it all, was a kind solid heart
If he called you friend you were blessed
Knowing that you were leaving
Doesn’t help much now that you’ve gone
An honest friend here lies at rest

So I can smile because you have lived
And for this life lived, you lived to the best
That is legacy, you have to give
To call you Father I was blessed
Knowing that you were leaving
Doesn’t help much now that you’ve gone
An honest man here lies at rest

I am often told I am a lot like you
It was something as a child I used to detest
But the man in the mirror lets me see how it’s true
To be your reflection I feel blessed
Knowing that you were leaving
Doesn’t help much now that you’ve gone
An honest dad here lies at rest

I cannot grieve for long; you would not want me to
So I will carry on, the way you know I always do

Things that all who knew well you can attest
And for this life lived, you lived to the best
To be your reflection I feel blessed
I knew that you were leaving
But in my heart you’ll never be gone

An honest friend here lies at rest
An honest man here lies at rest
An honest dad here lies at rest
My father who art in heaven…
…is at rest…

Am I Ready?

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Woman sitting at office desk pinching bridge of her nose in stress

F***! Barely 9AM Monday and I’m frazzled already…
Really, this could have been an email, they don’t agree.
I don’t have enough coffee for this mess…
Damned too early to be this stressed!
Am I ready for the weekend? Oh, Father deliver me,
YES!

dVerse ~ Poets Pub | Quadrille #199 – TGIF

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dVerse ~ Poets Pub

For this week’s prompt, Dee (aka WhimsyGizmo) has us freaking out over a quadrille, a poem of exactly 44 words not including the title, but must include some fun or fanatic use of the prompt word “Friday”.

I wish for the weekend acrostically.

Ticonderoga

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Tico My Heart,

I remember my first encounters with you
Not my first childish attempts of
What I now know is my full passion
But the first time
The time when I knew this was it
The joy I felt
Holding you close to me
Running my fingers over the mysteries
of your contours
No longer questioning why
I’m drawn to you

And every now and then
When the confines of that
Which I call my world
Threaten to crowd me
Almost as reflex I suppose,
I find myself
In a place
Walls don’t always exist
But drawn by you

And when I’m occasionally selfish
You don’t mind
For you know
The extent of the power
You have over me
When drawn with you

You give worlds of images
All perfectly contained
Within the movements
Of as few
Or as many
Well placed strokes
From my soul
As drawn through you

Whether
To you,
By you,
With you,
Through you,
Nothing beats the feel
Of you, my Ticonderoga
No. 2 Soft
I’m drawn
No. 2 Soft Pencil

The NaPoWriMo site challenge for Day 2: Write a platonic love poem. In other words, a poem not about a romantic partner, but some other kind of love – your love for your sister, or a friend, or even your love for a really good Chicago deep dish pizza. The poem should be written directly to the object of your affections (like a letter is written to “you”), and should describe at least three memories of you engaging with that person/thing.

A Cage

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A
cage is
not just bars
that can withhold
the physical self

Words
spoken
heartlessly
but struck deeply
Can confine the soul

For
only
as long as
you are willing
to let them hold you

As always I begin National Poetry Writing Month with an Arun, as I have done these past few years, in honor of the fiend (<– not a misspell), and creator of this poetic form – GirlGriot, who first got me into this yearly challenge.

An Arun is a fifteen-line poem in three sets of five lines. Each set of five lines follows the same syllable structure: starting with one syllable and increasing by one syllable with each line. 1/2/3/4/5 — 3x. There are no other rhyme or structural requirements

The NaPoWriMo site challenge for Day 1: Pick a word from a given list . Then write a poem titled either “A [your word]” or “The [your word]” in which you explore the meaning of the word, or some memory you have of it, as if you were writing an illustrative/alternative definition. I chose the word Cage.

Burning the Blankness

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The blank page
My tomb – My womb
Where I smolder,
Gossamer – Nebulous
A spark from beneath the surface,
I scratch at an idea,
Thoughts slowly burning,
The kindling of
Letters and punctuations
Until I am borne anew
A phoenix
Burning away blankness
In sentences and paragraphs
In verse and prose
Then in splendiferous coda
Of the final character
I vale to the emptiness
My tomb, My womb
Of the next blank page

<>==========<>==========<>

dVerse Poets Pub | Poetics: Creatures of the Blank Page

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Dora from Dreams from a Pilgrimage, challenges us to a write poem using any animal of choice (real or mythological) as a metaphor for how ideas and words take shape for you on a blank page

Autumn – Days vs Nights

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autumn day and night with leaves clip art

In the turns of  Autumn

The sky will fold itself

Bright Sol topping to remind you

Of hot summer days now done

And in the curve of Luna’s bottom

What is due

Stars dangle from cool night’s shelf

Of cold winter nights to come

dVerse ~ Poets Pub | Quadrille #186 – Fold

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dVerse ~ Poets Pub

For this week’s Quadrille, Dee (aka WhimsyGizmo) has us folding over a quadrille, a poem of exactly 44 words not including the title, but must include some form of the prompt word “fold”.