Grateful

Yesterday morning was one of those “I just can’t get my act together” morns. I was just arriving to the train station I should have been at some thirty minutes ago. That kind of morning.

At the foot of the escalator to the train station, I notice a fellow commuter put something in the hand of a young man  standing there. He is asking for money for breakfast.  Emphasizing that it really was for food, he was hungry.

By the time I reach him three others with their heads averted have blown past him in the typical New Yorker “invisible beggars are invisible” fashion.  Normally, I would be among them, but something about the kid, he could not have been more than thirteen, reaches out to me. Before he starts asking, I have stepped to he side, reaching for my wallet. As I dig in my bag a woman just shy of flies between us, ducking away as though the boy had leprosy. It was beyond rude how she did it.  His hurt expression said it all.  He clearly didn’t want to be there and she must have been the last straw for him. Head down he started to turn to walk away.

I don’t know what came over me.

“He is still a human being you know!” I yelled up the woman, “May you continue to be blessed in your life so you may never learn what it must take to do this.” The boy and the woman both stopped and looked at me. She was on the escalator, but her expression was murderous as it lifted her away.

“Thank you, miss.” he said, still hurt, accepting the bill I held out without looking at it.

“Enjoy your breakfast honey. You’ll be alright.” I stepped onto the escalator and waited for it…

“THANK YOU MISS! Now I don’t have to share half a McDonald’s with my little sister. I can get cereal and milk and she can have her own. Thank yoooooooou!” I hear him yell, the gratitude in his voice totally free of the hurt.

I look out of the windows as the escalator rose and sure enough he ran across the street to the grocery store. I was already late for work, but once I reach the top, I wait at the side windows. A few minutes later he came out carrying grocery bags with a gallon of milk and what looked like two boxes of cereal, half running up the block. I smile.

“How much did you give him?!” I hear a voice right behind me. I turn and it is the woman I yelled at minutes before.

“Just $5, not enough for all of that. He must have been there for a few minutes asking.  You couldn’t even be so bothered as to even look at the child. Did you even realize that was a child? What do you care?” I ask annoyed.

“You reminded me, that I haven’t always been this ‘blessed’. I was coming back to see if he was still here to give him some money.”  She takes three dollars out of her purse and hands it to me. “Split what you gave him?”

“Keep it. You’re getting on the subway, there will be other someones who needs it. Give it to them.” I say walking away, but then I stop. “Just do yourself a favor and look the person begging. You may still choose to dismiss 99% of them – just as I know I will, but at least look at them for a moment so you don’t miss the chance of the 1% who will be truly be grateful for it. And you feeling grateful for having to chance to do it.”

As I say the word grateful, I realize I am just as grateful that I took a chance with him. I think about the boy -and the little sister I didn’t know existed until he mentioned her- about to sit down and have some cereal. I don’t know their story, I just know that instead of one split meal, at least for the next couple of days they have breakfast.  I am grateful for my small part in that.

I just have one question now: Who the hell is this nice person I am turning into? Ugh!

It’s A Thin Line…

Got on the train in the midst of a married couple having a major lovers’ spat on the subway. Nasty hygiene, who slept with whom, the whole laundry basket. Everyone around them were interested in their books/tablets/music etc. The desperate were highly engrossed in the subway advertisements farthest down the car.

I could hear them through my ear buds. And yes the iPod was up as loud as I dared after the crap I overheard the other day (my Facebook friends know about it, I’ll spare the rest of you).  Still, after a solid 1/2 hour I could not take it any more and screamed at them. “For Christ’s sake, if you can’t get along together at home, stay the hell apart when you’re away from it! You are our *elders*! The ones who are supposed to be our examples of love in longevity and longevity in love.  You wonder why we young ones don’t know how to be together? Who the hell are we to learn from when you behave like this?! “

Now mind you, who is a couple of weeks shy being 50? This gal. We young ones? HAH! Boy, was I on mini rant.

They, and several commuters; turned to me stunned. I actually, I was pretty surprised at myself. I sat there fully prepared to be cussed out and put in my place for getting in grown folks business. Because yes, Ma Pot and Pa Kettle Black were well into their 70s.

Surprisingly, after apologizing to everyone within earshot, they did not say another word for about 15 minutes until they disembarked. Then they were all ‘Honey’, ‘Sweetness’, lovey-freaking-dovey. The crazy part is it was clearly as genuine as the arguing earlier.

No matter the age, it’s a thin line indeed…

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Slice of Life Teal

Slice of Life Writing Challenge

Unbidden

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These things and more I’m powerless to stop,
Thoughts of you coming unbidden and unblocked,
Enchanting and bewitching, you have captured my soul,
Lost and helpless, my body aches anon with your toll.
Lucius Kane / Unbidden Thoughts

Time’s jests had fooled us all to think of spring
Oh but winter but still had some fight within
Exposed by the elements did bring
Torn umbrellas now tossed into trash bins
The sudden storm made mockery of the thing
Just walking in the rain, garments given to sop
It takes away all pretense of privacy
Our peaked bodies’ crow with immodesty
It is sooner to control the next dew to drop
These things and more I’m powerless to stop

Oh send in the clowns for surely it’s some joke
How thoughts of that day even now make me swoon
And the fire within the memory doth stoke
It moves in from the dark side of the moon
And decorum evaporates like smoke
I watch my resiliency become something to mock
Trapped within my own dreams hot finish
With relief I succumb to my soul’s wish
I suppose by now I should not be shocked
Thoughts of you coming unbidden and unblocked

We’ve known each other since youth, shoes unlaced
And long ago packed away the trappings of such
Do I mistake that your feelings are of even pace?
Or do I project on you that which I do want so much?
For you to yearn for my touch upon more than your face
And there’s naught but one way for this ache to console
For without you I find I can’t breathe none the less
When with you I find I’m completely breathless
When the seeds of patience blossom into reality whole
Enchanting and bewitching, you have captured my soul

I dared not imagine it could ever be like this
That this joy wholly felt I’d even be worthy of
The elation of knowing your sweetest of kiss
Or the love that came from up above
Now just footsteps away from consuming bliss
Your crooked finger beckons in sweet cajole
And I decide there are few sweeter sounds in life
Than heard quote the words that made you my wife
No cost so high of favors – this heart can deny dole
Lost and helpless, my body aches anon with your toll.

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dVerse Poets Pub | OpenLinkNight – Week 110

How Could You…?

So, after some serious internet searching on Sunday, I finally saw the “Harriet Tubman Sex Tape” video by Russell Simmons’ All Def Digital that raised such a stink.  I didn’t even watch it all because all I found myself asking and continue to ask is…

How could you…?

Females in general have so few women in history to look up to and aspire to, to begin with. American historical females are much fewer and the number of American heroines of color that is even smaller still. And you take Harriet Tubman, the most courageous, the most noble of them, the most widely known black woman in history next to Rosa Parks and turn her into some antebellum Jezebel for the sake of what was presumed to be satire. No! Just no!

How could you?

To the actors and crew involved, yeah, I know… It’s just a job, and you got paid. If you did not do it, someone else surely would have. So the money might as well go in your pocket, right?  I hope you are all proud of it because this will permanently be on your IMDB page someday.  I get it, really I do, but still I ask…

How could you…?

Russell, how little you must think of the woman who made such remarkable history! Clearly, you do not respect her or her deeds.   Deeds, may I remind you, that were among the stepping-stones, which now give you the ability to create the tripe you posted in the name of humor.

What on earth made you –the collective you for all who participated in this nonsense, but you Russell Simmons specifically– think this would be acceptable, let alone funny, to the intelligent general public and to black women in particular? You didn’t.

And that is what is so appalling.

Black women here in America spend every damned day of their lives overtly or otherwise fighting sexual stereotypes.  Stereotypes placed upon us by the very type of “massas” portrayed in your little piece of jacked-up faux history.  Over a century later and we women of color are still fighting those stereotypes just so you can take Harriet Tubman, one of the very few examples of black womanhood who was above all of that nonsense, and turn her into a sexual parody.

How could you…?

Simmons, you are –well, I thought you were– an intelligent man.  There is NO way you could not have known there was going to be some backlash on this. Perhaps not as much as what you received, but you had to know. I believe this was done solely for getting All Def Digital noticed. There were so many other ways All Def Digital could have debuted to be smart, edgy, relevant, and divisive. You chose to make a mockery of Harriet Tubman.  By making her a joke of this caliber you diminish not just the woman, but everything for which she is known.

And do you want to know the real funny part? Image this video some 50, 20, 10, hell perhaps as little as two years from now. When all of us have moved on to the latest hullabaloo of the time, some ignorant racist assholes –who managed to download a copy before you had your ass handed to you and pulled the content off YouTube– will  show this to others of their ilk and pass it on as ‘historical truth’.  All because of you  thought it was something hilarious. Ha-ha, very funny motherfucker.

We need to fight not just to preserve her history and her reputation. Not just Tubman’s, but all the sisters  who have managed to make an indelible mark on our history.  In addition, to keep known for our future generations for the truths they are. Not tear them down, not desecrate their images to garner base humor.

How could you?

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Slice of Life Teal

See what other Slices are happening at Two Writing Teachers!

Don’t Think

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Don’t think about all the things you fear, just be glad to be here

Eyes meet across a noisy, crowed room
Think long, think wrong it’s just for show.
Fire weds desire, emotions in bloom
Don’t over think the moment just go with the flow.

Whose to say that this mutual attraction,
Is just momentary thrill?
Is this another chance you let go in your lifetime?
Or do you do what you will?

Don’t think about all the things you fear, just be glad to be here

Do you want the comfort of a perfect stranger?
Do you feel you’ve known each other all along?
Do you want safety? Do you want danger?
There is no right or wrong.

‘Cause in the morning you may not care.
‘Cause in the morning you may want it all.
It may not go any further from there.
But if you’re to rise, you’ve first got to fall.

Don’t think about all the things you fear, just be glad to be here

Tomorrow may be joy, the day after sorrow,
Don’t fret about what the Fates will allow.
You’ve only got right now.

Only now.

Don’t think about all the things you fear, just be glad to be here

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dVerse ~ Poets Pub | OpenLinkNight  – Week 109

With a  slight nod to FC Kahuna’s “Hayling“.