Verbal Diarrhea Diaries: Tinkering Around

Some of my holiday cards arrived at my job. The glitter from one card fell out of the envelope and dead into my lap, highlighting an area that really does not need attention called to it, especially while I’m at work. When one my of co-workers jokingly asked what happened it went like this:

Me (looking down seeing the extent of mess for the first time): Well, you know how with fairies their kisses always leave a trail of sparkles?

Him (cautiously, knowing it’s going to be bad): Yeah…?

Me: Well, Tinker Bell was attempting cunnilingus again as I was getting dressed. The little bitch is sooo good, but won’t take no for answer when I have to go to work.

Him (laughing): What?

Me: I look like I’ve been vajazzled under these pants.

Him (groaning): Dammit, I had to ask.

Me: That’s what you get for looking at my crotch.