17 comments on “My Sin, The Thing Tabu

  1. Grrrr….internet connection going in and out with these DC storms. Trying again:
    So effective to repeat the title within the poem…an excellent refrain. And a so clever use of “Charlie.”
    Especially love these lines
    “Her dulcet voice
    My sin, the thing tabu
    An allures as powerful
    as any mythological siren”
    So very well done. So glad you posted to the prompt!

  2. The repetition is effective, like a trail of perfume through your poem.. I enjoyed the sound and rhythm of the lines:
    ‘Sprawled as languidly
    In the warm hayloft
    As she would be
    upon cool white linen’
    and
    ‘Remade as my obsession
    In the tumultuous now’
    and the imagery in:
    ‘Borne of diamonds
    Held aloft in indigo skies’.

  3. I had noted to Bjorn on his post, that this is a wonderful prompt idea – and I think you’ve done an excellent job with it too. I think the repetition is well suited and I like how you’ve allowed the list, as presented, dictate how you chose to write the poem. It adds a certain structure within it, while you’ve managed to make the words work for themselves, but within a logical fashion that flows seamlessly as a story. This is well done. And if not reading/knowing this was a specific word list? Well, it’s just this well fashioned that there is no jarring word out of place.

    I particularly like this slightly “old world” tone and then this stanza, which brings us right into the “now” of the writer’s/ ghost-poet’s “now”

    This beautiful romantica
    From days of yore
    My sin, the thing tabu
    Remade as my obsession
    In the tumultuous now

    it’s all very intimate! it sparkles

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