But it felt like I was disappearing,
So I ran to the mirror to check it out.
I said, ‘Here I am, here I am, here I am”
But why do I feel like the invisible man?
Invisible Man – Joshua Kadison / Painted Desert Serenade
It’s the morning after and I feel shorn
I’m tired as can be and the sunlight slays
I want to anchor my thoughts, but I’m just too worn
Can’t seem to see myself in my weary daze
A shade off invisible in my haze
Rubbing at eyes seriously blearing
I try to own it to the night in wane
As day breaks through the window pane
Murky eyes see a body with vision clearing
But it felt like I was disappearing
I decide that it just can’t be the case
It’s my mind taking a very strange flight
This disembodiment of my face
But I couldn’t shake it, try as I might
That I was disappearing from sight
I hold my hands out front with a doubt
But my heart lurches at what it doesn’t see
The empty pristine space that should be me
And I wondered what that was about
So I ran to the mirror to check it out
For what will I be when I finish changing?
My very thoughts echoed the patterns swirled
What’s the impact on my life’s current arranging?
Just whose vision of me was being unfurled?
Will I be fluent in hate or bring joy to the world?
It all just felt like it an incredible scam
‘For self is a sea boundless and measureless’
Woe be to he who believes himself treasure less
So I just couldn’t get with this new program
I said, ‘Here I am, here I am, here I am”
I can’t be enticed to be another subject
Another copy of a copy I can’t tolerate
In the spirit of uniqueness, this I reject
And just that quick came a feeling sedate
Beyond my core I felt the quiet panic abate
Solidified back to me in a moment’s span
I’m glad to know I am in fact all here
Still, I just couldn’t shake that feeling so queer
Nothing changed from when this all began
But why do I feel like the invisible man?
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Yes, back to my beloved Glosa form.
A copy of copy in the name of uniqueness – we try and we try and we are always invisible
You are so good at this form and have used it to create such a sense of individual non-being or futility. Brava, Raivenne.
Love love love the use of a Glosa for this…the quote you’ve used, and the questions pondered thereafter. Wonderful.
I think we all feel invisible at times, and at other times wish we were when we feel far too vulnerable.
For what will I be when I finish changing?
My very thoughts echoed the patterns swirled..
This is so thought provoking… I think they will stay with me forever..!
Lots of love,
Sanaa
“This disembodiment of my face” what a fantastically visual line. It says so much about evolution and chaos, about losing bits of oneself (quite literally and even deeper).
Loved the work! Really well written.
This is universal, isn’t it? I really like it.