Oh my love, no, give not into these fears,
Know ‘tis naught but love in this heart that sears
My words do not flow as a poet’s would
I concede I don’t speak them as oft as I should
Yet my feelings for you are very much there
Let not jealous tongues cause doubts of my care
Mistaken was I to take it for granted
‘Tis now I see how your views were slanted
Say you will give me the honor of thus
Aye, I will prove there’s a chance for us
Come my love; please, let me start fresh, anew
From this dearth to an abundance true
Of always showing the passion I hold for you within
Love, never will you have cause for such qualms again
This took me right back to the days of knight-errant, chivalry, romance. Wonderful.
Yay! That is the tone I was going for. Thanks!
Wow – This was a sonnet! Awesome in the framing – (a little license with the meter — but it’s yours, and so of course you can make it what works for you!) I loved all your rhymes but I’m thinking I wasn’t as clear as I should have been in the article. Only the first SYLLABLE at the beginning of the lines has to rhyme not the whole first word. But that doesn’t trip you up except on one word – “shaken” which should have initially rhymed with “mis” and then could have gone anywhere. But my goodness that is quibbling in light of this beauty of a love sonnet. Absolutely loved it!
Gay, I am HOR-RI-BLE with iambic pentameter. Horrible to the extent I don’t kill myself over it anymore if it does not flow naturally. As for Mistaken / Shaken that was a brain fart on my part. All the other first rhyme words were single syllable so it was not an issue. Your instructions were clear, I am the one who forgot the rhyme was restricted to the first syllable. I have since corrected that mistake and am now more true to form. Thanks for the heads up on it.
I am so happy you otherwise loved it – THANK YOU! * beams with glee *
Everyone deserves a second chance, the third’s what is doubtful.
But isn’t the third time’s the charm ? 🙂 Thanks Laurie!
Great job with the form, Raivenne! You nailed it, and the story is wonderful!
Great job with the form! You really handled this well. What substance! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Stephen.
Really great job with this. Love the voice you used as well, really assisted the tone of the piece. Very nice.
What is it about using a classic tone makes everything sound more romantic? Thanks Hob!
Great piece.I love the way you have woven this together.
Its a shame, but we are all guilty of taking something or someone for granted. Its at our peril.
So true Tino, so true. Thanks.
Wonderful cadence and diction, great write to the form.
I tries. Thank you Anna.
you touch on a tender topic for me and that is the taking for granted of love…and i am glad that it is realised and renewed as you draw to a close…this has a very classical feel to it….
At some point in our lives, as Tino stated, we all are guilty of doing such. I was aiming for Camelot in tone and praying it did not come out sounding like Spamalot instead. 😉
A beautiful, lyrical evocation of the renaissance romanticism, with your theme and choice of words… and your working of the rhymed couplet form, with the additional first syllable rhyme, just works so well with the renaissance atmosphere. Bravo!
Thank you Semaphore!