Raivenne-lations

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The Nightbird

Posted on February 24, 2016 by Raivenne

A man stands on the rail gripping its notches
Notions crescendo in his heart once more
As Sol sets again in deep hued swatches

In the near distance the nightbird watches

He gazes at the still deepening skies
Heartbreak are words clutched tight in his hands
Gives a resolute shrug the heart belies

In the near distance the nightbird sighs

He looks down upon the street through his tears
Passers-by unaware he’s on the edge
The cacophony of sound comes to him as jeers

In the near distance the nightbird fears

From past dusk to near dawn as its stead
The nightbird sings its pleas with dread
The winds carries the calls from overhead

In the near distance the man knows not what was said

He balances on, his thoughts in muddled heaps
Reclamation from his sorrow long gone
A last glance to Sol rising then he simply leaps

And in the near distance the nightbird weeps

<>==========<>==========<>

In honor of Harper Lee, Kelly at dVerse invites us to tell a story in narrative poem. There is an added bonus for featuring a mockingbird, but my muse had other ideas.

dverse

dVerse Poets Pub | Poetics: Listen to the Mockingbird

23 thoughts on “The Nightbird”

Sanaa Rizvi on February 24, 2016 at 3:30 PM said:

WOW!!

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on February 24, 2016 at 9:22 PM said:
  
  Thanks!
  
  Reply ↓
Björn Rudberg (brudberg) on February 24, 2016 at 3:44 PM said:

Oh so sad that the nightbird couldn’t make him stop jumping… Love how your refrain changes subtly to accompany the narrative…

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on February 24, 2016 at 9:23 PM said:
  
  Thank you, Bjorn.
  
  Reply ↓
ShirleyB on February 24, 2016 at 4:19 PM said:

I agree with Bjorn, the refrains add depth to the piece, the slight changes reflecting the unfolding tale. Beautiful finish.

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on February 24, 2016 at 9:24 PM said:
  
  Thanks Shirley.
  
  Reply ↓
summerstommy2 on February 24, 2016 at 9:58 PM said:

This is an excellent response and I loved the structure you used to bring back our focus…..

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on February 25, 2016 at 9:11 AM said:
  
  Thank you Summerstomny2.
  
  Reply ↓
lillian on February 25, 2016 at 7:32 AM said:

on the edge in so many ways……..

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on February 25, 2016 at 9:11 AM said:
  
  Very much so… Thanks.
  
  Reply ↓
kelly on February 25, 2016 at 8:27 AM said:

Heartbreaking, but a well-told tale, and yes, the structure perfectly enhances the message. Would that the nightbird could have saved him.

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on February 25, 2016 at 9:11 AM said:
  
  If only. Thanks Kelly.
  
  Reply ↓
Victoria C. Slotto on February 25, 2016 at 2:26 PM said:

I so like what you did with the one-line refrain that created so much atmosphere. Well done.

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on February 25, 2016 at 3:15 PM said:
  
  Thank you, Victoria.
  
  Reply ↓
Walt Wojtanik on February 25, 2016 at 5:00 PM said:

I love what you did with the “in the near distance” refrain! It wraps this up beautifully.

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on February 25, 2016 at 5:11 PM said:
  
  Thanks, Walt.
  
  Reply ↓
Bekkie on February 26, 2016 at 1:19 PM said:

Sad but very good I enjoyed the rhyming. Well done!

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on February 27, 2016 at 2:21 PM said:
  
  Thank you, Bekkie.
  
  Reply ↓
whimsygizmo on February 28, 2016 at 1:49 PM said:

I love the rhythm in that last line, especially.

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on March 2, 2016 at 8:53 AM said:
  
  Thanks Whimsygizmzo.
  
  Reply ↓
katiemiafrederick on March 2, 2016 at 1:42 AM said:

By own hand now..
oF nightbird death..
By own hope
oF aLL gOne
now befoRe..
ByE aLL n0w..
moRe to
Be
hOld..:)

Reply ↓
- Raivenne on March 2, 2016 at 8:52 AM said:
  
  Thank you.
  
  Reply ↓
  - katiemiafrederick on March 2, 2016 at 8:55 AM said:
    
    🙂

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