Verbal Diarrhea Diaries: Look That Up

I went out to dinner with a few folks the weekend before last. As normal among us as there were ribald shenanigans aplenty. It was all fun and games, a fantastic get together to catch up. Somewhere in the midst of the silliness I noted Crisp (don’t ask/can’t tell), had stopped short for a moment to look at me queerly, but then he continued on with the conversation and I promptly dismissed whatever it was I thought I saw.

We ran into each other on the train this morning. After a moment of general salutations he looks at me saying there’s something he wanted to ask that’s been on his mind since dinner the weekend before. Aha I thought, I did see something, it was not my imagination after all.

“Sure Crisp what’s on your mind” I ask mentally preparing for a serious conversation.

“I know this is stupid,” He starts “but when we were joking around you called me a C.A.D.”

“A C.A.D.?”

“Yeah, usually I can figure out how your convoluted mind jumps and follow your sense of humor, but for the life of me I cannot fathom how you jumped from the archaic to computer-aided design.” He laughs self deprecatingly.

Now, I am mentally scratching my head trying to fathom where we were in the midst of the various topics of conversation that included computer aided design and drew a complete blank.  I am literally thinking to myself who the hell, but Crisp would call it computer-aided design when everyone else who even knows the term calls it by its acro… And that’s when the light bulb lit.

“I called you a cad?” It took everything I had to look in his face and not snort in laughter.

“Yes, a CAD.” He nodded, becoming somewhat perturbed by my barely suppressed mirth.

“By god for a man presumed reasonably adroit, betimes your mind is naught but fandangle. I called you a cad, you dimwit!” I snickered.

The conversation he referred to was a hodgepodge of history that segued into archaic or near archaic words.  I adore Crisp, but at that moment in the conversation clearly his comprehension of archaic  fared not much past the immediate computer age. What was also clear was that he proving the point why such words were near archaic as he still did not get it.  We were nearing his stop and he stood.

“Since you sat for over a week and did not bother ascertain for yourself whether there were possible alternate meanings, especially given the conversation at the time, I shant make it easy and do the work by simply telling you.” I shook my head smiling as he edged towards the door. “Go look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls.

“My fucking what?” Crisp turned at the door completely confused

A gentleman sitting across from me, who clearly got the reference, started laughing as I put my head down groaned.

It’s been a while since I actually felt my age, thanks Crisp.


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6 thoughts on “Verbal Diarrhea Diaries: Look That Up

  1. I wonder if he’d understand “sock it to me”, “ring my chimes” or “you bet your sweet bippy”. Some of these have remained in the language.

    • Bob, no one I know under the age of 30 would be familiar with “ring my chimes” or “you bet your sweet bippy” as catchphrases. They’d likely only know “sock it to me” in reference to Aretha Franklin’s song “Respect”. While those in their 30s may know the phrases, and only a handful would be able to recall from where they know them at will.

  2. You know, this reminds me of when a cable repair guy was noting my view at my last residence, and I said I was enjoying having my own private bog. This started a 20-minute detour where he was, in a disconcertingly accusing way, positing that I must be some sort of “vocabulary expert.” I was truly baffled, as I wasn’t really using any complicated language. Turns out he had never heard the word “bog.” I was completely taken aback. He thought I was pulling his leg. ???? It’s not the first time I’ve wondered, “What are they teaching them in schools these days?”

    • Q, I think it is is less what is being taught and more of what is being remembered once taught. Many people tend to forget a good chunk that which is not immediately applicable to their daily lives. I know I was taught trigonometry. I know I passed the regents for it which mean I did in fact learn it. Ask me to calculate anything more complex than VERY BASIC algebra now and I’m screwed. Whereas geometry is a physical/visual thing that appealed to the artist in me, a square, rhombus, angles, diameters etc stayed with me. In his defense I’m willing to bet he’s not a word person. He has likely read it once or twice, but did not retain it in reference to nature. I bet if you has said something in relation to being “bogged down” that he would have known.

So? What do you think?

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