17 comments on “Urban Haze

  1. Cool form, don’t recall seeing it before. will have to try one someday. Like the repetition of the wishing to drive, and all the observations that go on in the subway cars, particularly effective, the slanted eyes and the mental process of not providing him any more than he was getting through his ogling. Great job. thanks

    • Just another day on the train fro me.

      The repetition is not required in the Raccotino form. However, since the rules did not specify that I could *not* have repetition, I had fun with it. Besides, I like finding ways to tweak forms to do what I want them to do without entirely breaking their rules. Makes it fun.

      Thanks Hobgoblin.

  2. whew i could feel the heat coming off this one…nice use of the repetition as well…the haze was rising…ugh on the guy checking you out the subways not the best place for that…smiles….

    • Yeah, there is a huge difference between admiring and leering. Some people do not have a grip on either concept or the time and place for them.

      Thanks Brian.

  3. I was so happy when I started to drive again to work. The very reasons you note her are a thing of the past. But some things I am missing, like reading on the train, writing, watching people. The 30 min walk both ways also gave me needed exercise. But the time involved finally convinced me. It takes 3 hrs round trip by train, 50 mins by car. I leave later, sleep later, and generally get along. Your poem, though, brought back the bad memories of NYC days in no AC subways, which was probably the worst. People want to kill each other on those days. I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme and the repetition of your refrain. The poem is very effective on numerous levels.

    • Thanks Chaz.

      My commute time is the majority of my reading time. When I had a much shorter commute for a year, I was surprised by how much I missed the reading time. Sometimes I really do hate the weekdays, but In my case, traffic congestion almost evens things out time wise and the expense of parking nearly negates any other benefits.

  4. If only I could drive my car to work…

    Great poetry, but one thing’s for sure. If I didn’t already know it, I’d now know you don’t live in LA!

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