Urban Haze

If only I could drive my car to work
I wouldn’t be caught in this urban haze.
The streets spots filled, the garages are packed
Garage is too expensive anyways.
Going home from work in a funky sweat,
Back of my throat like bottom of ashtrays.
The hour’s lucubration gone downhill,
Under the glare of my boss’ sharp gaze.
My corporate suit felt so good at work,
Now I’m out in midst of this darn blaze.
The walk’s a distance by foot to the train
And my suit is torture under these rays.
If only I could drive my car to work
I wouldn’t be caught in this urban haze.
Want to take off my jacket but I can’t,
Caught some strange guy checking me out slant ways.
Can feel my silk blouse sticking to my skin,
Yet I’m so not about to make his days
And see just how fitting my form can be,
But it’s worse in the sauna of subways.
For once again the AC’s not running.
This train’s the epitome of clichés.
Practice mental transference while I’m here,
To somewhere with pools and drinks and valets.
If only I could drive my car to work
I wouldn’t be caught in this urban haze.
All packed up on each other like sardines,
Is it the train or heat that’s causing sways?
Grateful that I’m finally at my stop,
Caught again in of those train delays.
At last! I am the phoenix bird rising,
From the deep pyre walking up the stairways.
Got the number for dinner on speed dial
The thought of cooking has me in a daze.
Little trooper I am I brave the heat,
But sometimes I swear I hate the weekdays.
If only I could drive my car to work
I wouldn’t be caught in this urban haze.


Today’s form is a Raccontino.

The raccontino is an unlimited number of couplets, rhyming xb xb xb xb xb, etc. The syllable count is set in the first line and followed throughout the poem.

Entered in dVerse Poets Pub – Poetics: Subway

17 thoughts on “Urban Haze

  1. Cool form, don’t recall seeing it before. will have to try one someday. Like the repetition of the wishing to drive, and all the observations that go on in the subway cars, particularly effective, the slanted eyes and the mental process of not providing him any more than he was getting through his ogling. Great job. thanks

    • Just another day on the train fro me.

      The repetition is not required in the Raccotino form. However, since the rules did not specify that I could *not* have repetition, I had fun with it. Besides, I like finding ways to tweak forms to do what I want them to do without entirely breaking their rules. Makes it fun.

      Thanks Hobgoblin.

  2. whew i could feel the heat coming off this one…nice use of the repetition as well…the haze was rising…ugh on the guy checking you out the subways not the best place for that…smiles….

    • Yeah, there is a huge difference between admiring and leering. Some people do not have a grip on either concept or the time and place for them.

      Thanks Brian.

  3. I was so happy when I started to drive again to work. The very reasons you note her are a thing of the past. But some things I am missing, like reading on the train, writing, watching people. The 30 min walk both ways also gave me needed exercise. But the time involved finally convinced me. It takes 3 hrs round trip by train, 50 mins by car. I leave later, sleep later, and generally get along. Your poem, though, brought back the bad memories of NYC days in no AC subways, which was probably the worst. People want to kill each other on those days. I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme and the repetition of your refrain. The poem is very effective on numerous levels.

    • Thanks Chaz.

      My commute time is the majority of my reading time. When I had a much shorter commute for a year, I was surprised by how much I missed the reading time. Sometimes I really do hate the weekdays, but In my case, traffic congestion almost evens things out time wise and the expense of parking nearly negates any other benefits.

  4. If only I could drive my car to work…

    Great poetry, but one thing’s for sure. If I didn’t already know it, I’d now know you don’t live in LA!

So? What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s