7 comments on “Two Taps

  1. nice one – i like that you have a refrain variation – works really well…meter is stable, rhymes good – form fits…well done!

  2. Lines 3 & 7 only have seven syllables rather than the full eight – ‘desire’ and ‘fire’ are both diphthong words that can often fool us into thinking they gave an extra syllable because the vowel sound changes as we speak it (like ‘beer’). ‘Desire’ is two syllable not three, and ‘fire’ one, not two. Easily remedied though. Fine Octain, I enjoyed it very much and I particularly like your middle tercet. Strong statement.

    Warmest

    Luke

    • Luke! As the creator of this Octain Refrain form I’m honored to have your input. Ah diphthongs, the bane of most of my syllable counts. As you said easily remedied.
      And thank you!

  3. Hi again Raivenne –

    How would you feel about me including your Octain in a thread I have running on Facebook – nearing 100 mark now – © retained by you of course and I will tag you in it so you can see all Octains written so far if you’re on FB, if not I can email you the entire thing if you like. My FB is on my sidebar on my blog. If not no worries :))

    Kind regards

    Luke

    rapture_elk@yahoo.co.uk

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