7 comments on “Two Taps

  1. nice one – i like that you have a refrain variation – works really well…meter is stable, rhymes good – form fits…well done!

  2. Lines 3 & 7 only have seven syllables rather than the full eight – ‘desire’ and ‘fire’ are both diphthong words that can often fool us into thinking they gave an extra syllable because the vowel sound changes as we speak it (like ‘beer’). ‘Desire’ is two syllable not three, and ‘fire’ one, not two. Easily remedied though. Fine Octain, I enjoyed it very much and I particularly like your middle tercet. Strong statement.



    • Luke! As the creator of this Octain Refrain form I’m honored to have your input. Ah diphthongs, the bane of most of my syllable counts. As you said easily remedied.
      And thank you!

  3. Hi again Raivenne –

    How would you feel about me including your Octain in a thread I have running on Facebook – nearing 100 mark now – © retained by you of course and I will tag you in it so you can see all Octains written so far if you’re on FB, if not I can email you the entire thing if you like. My FB is on my sidebar on my blog. If not no worries :))

    Kind regards



So? What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s