My job is thus: this terror end
It’s not for a purpose, higher
nor a matter of my desire
Though there are those I will offend
Pure steel my nerve, for whom I serve
A decade’s span, this tale to rend
The choice was death, I take aim – fire
Two taps I’m done: this terror ends…?
===<>===
Written for One Stop Poetry:
One Stop Monday Form – Octains
You show a stepped-up loyalty in the poem. Great!
nice one – i like that you have a refrain variation – works really well…meter is stable, rhymes good – form fits…well done!
Thank you AliveAlways and Claudia!
Lines 3 & 7 only have seven syllables rather than the full eight – ‘desire’ and ‘fire’ are both diphthong words that can often fool us into thinking they gave an extra syllable because the vowel sound changes as we speak it (like ‘beer’). ‘Desire’ is two syllable not three, and ‘fire’ one, not two. Easily remedied though. Fine Octain, I enjoyed it very much and I particularly like your middle tercet. Strong statement.
Warmest
Luke
Luke! As the creator of this Octain Refrain form I’m honored to have your input. Ah diphthongs, the bane of most of my syllable counts. As you said easily remedied.
And thank you!
Hi again Raivenne –
How would you feel about me including your Octain in a thread I have running on Facebook – nearing 100 mark now – © retained by you of course and I will tag you in it so you can see all Octains written so far if you’re on FB, if not I can email you the entire thing if you like. My FB is on my sidebar on my blog. If not no worries :))
Kind regards
Luke
rapture_elk@yahoo.co.uk
What an intense expression! Very well done.. xxx