11 comments on “Does Anyone Remember…

  1. I sure don’t respect guys who do it on the first date, and they probably don’t respect you either if you’re not cool enough to them to wait. If a guy isn’t a scumbag he’ll wait, if he’s just looking to rack up the numbers, then he won’t.

  2. Well, for one, the boundaries should be very well-defined. best example i can think of is if you let him know that you dont put out on the first date. Thats a perfectly fine, respectable thing. If he was disappointed after leaving, there might be the chance he thought that the acceptance of the lunch date was sufficient entree to you-know. Now, yes he would be wrong. My question would be if he had known! I do not know one way or the other, however that is the best way i could state the case that if he had any reasoon for thinking so, it can usually be solved by simple communication. if he is OK with it, then all is well. if not, then the blooming relationship may need to stop there, dependent on judgement and all those factors, if he cant be respectful at that time.

    Hope ive clarified enough, this gives me more time to type. Have I made a good assertion?

    • Actually your assertion, in a way, proves my point.

      How did our thought process change so much, that it is now the presumption, by many, that there may even a chance for sex on the first or whatever date? How has sex become so mainstream, that if the woman does not openly establish from the outset that nothing is going to happen, it is a subliminal permission that something will?

      • Ms. Ravienne, I would have to say, that we can “blame” MTV. All that is is really Porn – with clothes on! Sex has become the dominant force in the world, and im sorry to say that when most men see a sexy woman such as yourself, the imagination of what it would be like instantly comes to mind. Is there any going back from this? I think not.

        Im 35 myself, so im not particularly of that ilk, but yeah, id agree with that.

        I wonder if that is what they call the “Same page” lol. And “Subliminal permission” is sometimes “Given” in the mind of said person, just by being sexy.

        Words are required, or else it is -presumed- valid. 🙂

  3. “when most men see a sexy woman such as yourself, the imagination of what it would be like instantly comes to mind. Is there any going back from this? I think not.”

    Thank you for the compliment, J. Let me extrapolate from the section quoted above:

    So a male see a picture of a sexy woman, and yes, his imagination leads to all kinds of sex. He’s human, she’s sexy, I get that. So, he reaches out to her and he has gotten past the opening compliment and has received her thanks. Does that mean he now has permission to say/ask whatever sexual thing he wants, to a woman he doesn’t even know, simply based on the fact that she has one (or several), sexy pictures posted?

    It is HER fault for the thoughts in his head and therefore she has to act on it?

    • “So a male see a picture of a sexy woman, and yes, his imagination leads to all kinds of sex. He’s human, she’s sexy, I get that. So, he reaches out to her and he has gotten past the opening compliment and has received her thanks.”

      So far, so good. Please note that he has already imagined it. This is key.

      “Does that mean he now has permission to say/ask whatever sexual thing he wants, to a woman he doesn’t even know, simply based on the fact that she has one (or several), sexy pictures posted?”

      .. Unfortunately, if he is like most men, this exact statement would be true in that it is more than like to either obviously or not-so-obviously slip out.

      “It is HER fault for the thoughts in his head and therefore she has to act on it?”

      .. You wish the answer to be “No,” however I think just by the forces at work of Nature (opposites attract, put two negative ir positive poles, as on a magnet, together, and they repel) logic would mean the answer is not -as- “No” as you want it to be.

      Its not completely “Yes,” Either, but i think we are both agreeing on where such thing would come from.

      I still have to say the answer is “Words.” (No means no, etc.)

      Sorry to hear this happened to you recently!

  4. Ah, but my question, as originally queried, is not why the thoughts exist, but why those thoughts then evoke the EXPECTATION of sex from someone you don’t (or barely), know.

    I see pictures of sexy men all the time and my imagination is vast as to what I would like to do. But even in that very active imagination of mine, it is always presumed that I have at least known him for a while first. I may want it, but I never have any expectation of sex on the first date. Or on the second or third or the fourth date for that matter.

    • Ahhhhh, I see. Well, that seems to be a matter of patience, then. Makes more sense, when you say it like that.

      And if all else fails and he can not get the message.. Just say ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ em. 🙂

  5. WOW. The above commentary from “J” is un-freaking-believable. He’ll argue this up and down, but this is akin to “she deserved to be raped because she was wearing a sexy dress.”

    Stupidest thing I have EVER heard. If a woman was obligated to fuck every man who found her attractive, those of us who many men find attractive would never do anything but fuck random men. The sense of entitlement disgusts me.

    I have NEVER dated a man who would even think the things J has purported to say for ALL men, and I never would.

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