I am not a fan of most creatures with more than four legs. I mean insects. Multi-limbed aquatic creatures are fine, especially in a marinara sauce. [I kid, I kid – sorta]
For instance I can deal with your neighborhood household or field spider. No, let me rephrase that.
I can deal with the household or outdoor spiders that I grew up with or learned to deal with. I’ve seen images of Australian Hunter spiders. Those mofos gave me pause. I’m told they are relatively harmless, but my brain says –fill in all the ways to say aw HELLZ to the NO here-.
Of the spiders I am familiar with, I love trying to capture images of spiders webs, preferably with the architect, and sometimes its prey, there. I will not freak out in the presence of a tarantula IF I know one is there. I have even held a few of the lovely creepy crawlers. However, forewarned is fore armed. It would NOT be wise for any tarantula to suddenly drop onto my lap. Little Miss Muffat would be left in my dust.
And the more legs it has – the less I like it – the faster I’m (over)reacting. Thus I abhor the most wretched of these: house centipedes. Spring is coming and I know I’m about to see a few of them. Why does something that is deadly to other most home insects, but harmless to us humans need to look like that? Why does it need so many freaking legs!
<Okay Raivenne, breathe 2,3,4 – step back – exhale 2,3,4. Pats hair (thanks GG😁)>
Seriously WHY God WHYYYYY?
/back of wrist to forehead melodrama – and scene
That being said, it brings me to today’s slice. Imagine my initial reaction when I reached over to my Keurig to get my much needed morning java and saw this…
Because I was in motion, the air displacement cause it moved as though about to climb the mug. Let’s just say it was some VERY tense couple of split seconds to choke down the varying and conflicting reactions that hit:
- Do NOT yell in the office.
- Do NOT throw the mug and its contents to get that thing away from my desk – think of the COFFEE!!!
- Do NOT set fire to it!
- Swipe the offender away and crush it under the cold hard heel of my boot and…
- Breathe realizing it was only a feather from my freaking coat.
It might have only been a couple of split seconds, but those spit seconds were fright, then fight for my coffee, before just breathe kicked in, let me tell you.
And now I return me and my heart rate to our regularly scheduled attacks and take a sip.
Day 10 of 31 – Let’s see how others are hopefully not freaking themselves out today.
15th Annual Slice of Life Writing Challenge
Two Writing Teachers
Yikes! House centipedes are the WORST!! There is no reason for all those legs. None. And for their creepy-ass translucent bodies. Ugh.
Not sure I would have managed to regain anything like equilibrium before shrieking and leaping back from the coffee. 🙄😆😉
The WORST! I’m just glad my brain processed it and calmed faster than my mouth could open and vocalize the Samuel L. Jackson worthy string of words about to erupt. 😎
The thought that any creature or feather would dare to cause interruption to that all important first sip of coffee just makes me shudder. Lucky for that feather that you took a moment to breathe or it could have found itself plucked and crushed. Speaking of getting the willies… water bugs – ugh.
I know – the NERVE of that feather giving me a mild coronary like that! I gave my coat serious side eye for letting it escape to cause such.
And as for Water bugs – let’s NOT get started on those bleepity-bleepers.
This is absolutely hilarious. I am reminded of the time I was hiking recently and I heard a snarl-I was convinced it was a mountain lion. I jumped letting out a little scream as I encountered a man blowing snot rockets beside a tree. He was like, “You’re a little jumpy today, huh?” Yes, sir, yes, sir I am. Thanks for sharing. Your post made me smile.
I never heard the term before, but oh the visual it evokes is perfect(ly disgusting). Why do some men DO that? Eww!
Glad I could make you smile.