I was the shadow of the waxwing slain
By the false azure in the windowpane
Bestrewn with lines of levity, held down in weighty prose
Each character a delight, each jot and tittle filled with those
Such words that enticed and sorely endeared
Oh, how my heart flew! Then its wings sheared
The shock as your cursive on vellum to see
Were just as well writ to another she
Who knew your words could so deceive,
When writ you loved me and I believed?
I read those words anew with different eyes
Wallowed in the depth of those well crafted lies
The parchments of paragraphs penned are gathered
Those once sweet sentences now kerosene slathered
And your fabrications float on incendiary puffs
That thus punctuate how my love of you is snuffed
With the last of when for you I yearned
It was a pleasure to burn
<>==========<>
Tonight at the pub Gospel Isosceles asks us to “bridge the gap” by quoting the opening lines from two different books, and then construct a poem filling in the space between. I used the following opening lines:
I was the shadow of the waxwing slain / By the false azure in the windowpane;
—Vladimir Nabokov, Pale Fire (1962)
It was a pleasure to burn.
—Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (1953)
Oh! Excellent twist on one of the great first lines in all of literature – love how you incorporated it into your last line here.
Thank you, jillys2016. It felt really so odd using a classic opening line as an ending one.
Outstanding! Love the rhyming.
Thanks, purplepeninportland.
Nice sound and sense.
Thank you.
I like how you took those first lines and used the rhyming couplet form throughout. What a way to portray the danger of the written word and the deception that can lie therein. There is so much bitterness and passion in the speaker that at the end i was wondering if it was the written lies being burned or the speaker or the teller of those lies. Nicely done!
Thank you, Gospel Isosceles. Thanks exactly how I wanted the ending to be; leave it up to the reader on what’s being burned.
Beautifully done! I love the lines:
‘Bestrewn with lines of levity, held down weighty prose
Each character a delight, each jot and tittle filled with those’
and
‘The parchments of paragraphs penned are gathered
Those once sweet sentences now kerosene slathered’.
Thanks kim881. I do enjoy contrasts, jargon, rhymes and alliteration always. 😀
I love how you started the poem.. and used it in full force throughout. The rhymes helped you to that closure
Thanks Björn. I knew I wanted to close with Bradbury’s line I had no idea on how I wanted to begin it until I saw Nabokov’s opener. Then it all fell into place.
Love poems would be just bland nonsense if there were not the possibility for a powerful break-up poem. Sort of wonderfully scary. Channeling the terrifying Hedda Gabler a wee bit, but with the compressed nihilism replaced by cool empowerment. The rhythm carries me through. Very cool.
Thanks for today’s *something new learned*, Lona Gynt. I had not heard of “Hedda Gabler” and had to Wiki it to get the reference. It is very fitting to the titular character. Your comment is a spot on assessment of my words – Thank you.
Your poem was one of my favorite things today. Cheers!
Why thank you!
Oh my….these two lines, so powerful by themselves. Made all the more so by the story given in between. An excellent write, (just catching up on reading!)
Why thank you!