The Iron Phoenix

The sky seems more blue, From the bowels of earth

In shades unfathomable, to a world sealed in the night

A fidget enthralled, I’m moved standing still

By this bond twixt light and dark, A phoenix newly rising

In timelessness of twilight, The iron horse travels onward

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Over at Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads, Dreaming with Stacie provided a mini lesson on Poetry, Writing & Metaphor and invites to write a poem based on a specific metaphor.

Many of  my subway travels involve elevated trains (el trains as we like to say), where my train may start at a station below ground, but ends at a station on an elevated platform above the streets.  There is a marked difference in the dark of the tunnels and the dark of night. Even when riding during witching hours, when the train emerges from the tunnel it can feel like a phoenix rising from the ashes, especially in the heat of summer. The duality of the Super Tanka seemed the best form to tell the tale of transition.

real-toads-buton
Imaginary Gardens With Real Toads – on Poetry, Writing & Metaphor  – Dreaming with Stacie

5 thoughts on “The Iron Phoenix

  1. Ravienne – This is such a gorgeous image – you’ve captured both movement & stillness, darkness & light – both work so well to describe the metaphor of the train as a mythical bird of power & transformation (of which I’ve always loved, in fact, there is a phoenix in the novel I’m working on). 🙂 Thanks for participating & sharing.

  2. In shades unfathomable, to a world sealed in the night
    A fidget enthralled, I’m moved standing still

    Incredible lines!!

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