Nine and seven years
You abandon us here
In this world
Mad with anguish

Skipped to the words
Take them
Spoken in hate
Go away and die
Because of him

The need to spite
Mattering more
Than to live for us
Your own daughters


A week before Mother’s Day. Trying to make sense of the senseless. She had been saying for months that if he kept pushing her she’d leave him permanently. We were all praying she would. None of us thought it would be like this. Leaving a note and two daughters.

From some of the comments below I see I need to clarify something. The above poem is from my muse, taking the view point of the two daughters. The pain feels real to you, because it is real to me. This past Monday night/Tuesday morning,  I lost a friend, the girls lost a mother to suicide.


dVerse ~ Poets Pub | Quadrille 8: Skip


The Daily Post | Abandoned


Real Toads : The Tuesday Platform


Slice of Life Writing Challenge : Two Writing Teachers

22 thoughts on “senseless

  1. Did you base this upon a Hebrew Biblical source? I ask because of your use of “nine and seven” instead of “ten and six” to represent sixteen. Hebrew uses the letters of the alphabet to represent numbers, and sixteen is represented as “nine and seven” (teth zayin) because “ten and six” (yud waw) resembles the name of God. A similar change applies to fifteen because “ten and five” (yud he) also represents the name of God.

  2. Spite is a powerful motivator which clouds all good judgement–thus the phrase “cutting off your nose to spite your face.” Unfortunate. But as I always say–At least I got a poem out of it.

  3. wow, just wow. Your words take me into a world of despair. As an adult, I can see maybe why a parent would leave, but I can also see that it doesn’t make sense to children at all. I am so sorry.

  4. Your piece proves that grief has no time limit, creeps up on you at times often odd and bizarre. It must have taken quite a bit of energy to write this poem. I can feel the slashes of pain with each line each time I read along. It is very well done. Sometimes out of the anger and grief comes power, as you have demonstrated here. Bon courage.

  5. Sadfunny.. how life works..
    i could never determine THEN
    how anyone could ever THINK
    about taking their own life..
    OMG.. life.. so precious
    beautiful in all
    the dArk and
    pain.. and
    grief.. suffering
    and rebound.. through
    Loss of child.. Loves..
    and all the rest..
    still and
    true.. then..
    but that was
    not enough.. as
    i came down with the
    literal suicide disease.. a
    pain worse than dentist
    drill in teeth WITHOUT
    novocaine but for me
    in eye and ear for 66 months..
    from wake to sleep named
    type two Trigeminal
    Neuralgia.. literally
    assessed now in
    medical literature
    as a pain worse than
    the torture of literal
    crucifixion and 18
    other life
    synergy of
    disorders too..
    hell no..
    not even
    THAT pain
    was the worse
    pain to me..
    i lost my
    and even
    my sensory
    feelings at one
    point.. and what i kNow
    now.. is what is possible
    to overcome.. but what i also
    kNoW now for sure.. it is
    the silent
    pain.. the
    that can
    be worse than
    any fire imaginable
    than no feeling at all..
    so.. i never judge anyone
    for anything.. as no one
    can truly see a soul of
    dark.. in how
    can be..
    bottom line.. i tale
    this story every opportunity
    i have.. as there could be someone
    in the listening audience somewhere
    who might gain just enough spark
    for what i truly miraculously
    overcame.. to go on one
    more now for reality
    that even
    at the
    of piece of paper
    existence.. there
    is another now..
    a change
    matter even if..
    as in my case
    the doctors give up hope
    and tell you just go
    and suffer less
    however you can
    as we have no pills
    that will bRing you back..
    anyway.. been there.. done
    it.. reams of hell.. but yes.. after
    the deepest hell.. now.. the greaTesT
    liGhts oF Heaven ARE POSSIBLE..
    REAL.. NO

  6. A psychiatrist once told me most suicides are aggressive actions directed against somebody. The man in this case, I gather. However, I also think the person;as mind must be disturbed at the time, or else they would not think like that and would realise the pain they cause to others. A terrible situation! I hope the writing helps you a little, and that having you and other people who care helps the daughters.

So? What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s