2 comments on “The Heart of the Matter

  1. “This emotional equivalent of self-flagellation, if you will.”

    Yeah, I’m too well versed in this. Trying to decide what to forgive and what to let go is what holds me up.

  2. I generally forgive people easily enough, or simply just don’t think about it. In my family, emotion basically “got in the way of what had to be done”, and so I never learned to truly grieve. I didn’t even cry when my parents died, and I loved them both.

    As to forgiving myself, I’ve generally tried to make amends for what I’ve done wrong, but some people feel that once something is done, it’s done, and you can’t make amends. In such cases, I forgive myself quite easily (Hey, I tried). I’m sorry to have to say this, and I’m not trying to boast, but if a tally of such events could be kept, I’d probably come out more sinned against than sinner.

    In an episode of Wings several years ago, Frasier and Lilith appeared as guest starts, and Frasier was running a pop psychology meeting called “The Crane Train to Mental Well Being”. At the end, he realized that what he was trying to say all along was “Don’t blame yourself. It’s the OTHER guy’s fault!” Then, something like “I’m not sure about the psychological foundation, but I could sure see it on a T-shirt”. While this was, of course, not meant to be taken seriously, I’m forced to admit that this maxim becomes more attractive to me the longer I live.

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