6 comments on “One of the Strong Ones

  1. I can understand this, as I am considered to be one of the strong ones, at least in regard to certain fears shared by many, fears which I believe to be deliberately exaggerated by the media. (Don’t get me started on this!)

    At least, you can apologize to your co-worker and she will most likely forgive you, while I’ve had the experience of a few hangers-on who never get over it if you let your guard down even for a second.

    You will get over your friend’s death in time, and will remain one of the strong ones.

  2. I’ve been one of the strong ones, too.

    What I’ve learned this past year is that there is some cost to that. In my case I lost some health. Feeling that, and also losing some close friends, I’ve become more aware of my mortality and well being, and I’m working hard to maintain now.

    And, while that doesn’t preclude being strong for others, I feel that it’s caused me to be a bit more discerning about where my strength is spent.

    Hugs to you for your loss, and friend to friend, consider my story and how it may apply to you.

  3. Where? Right here, dear. You -know- I’ve seen yelling from people I love. 😉 Plus the whole up in the wee hours thing. Perhaps a time vortex would be healing, in addition to other qualities.

    I’m someone who gets very calm and level-headed in a true emergency, but I’d describe myself as emotionally fragile in situations
    not quite as dire. It’s what I dislike the most about myself.

    Given my own proclivities, I admire strength where I see it, and yes, I’ve seen your abundant resources in that department. But I never would (and never have) decided that has to be a personality constant. You are how you are, and that may change as appropriate for any given situation. There must be many others who share that outlook.

    If some people are rattled by seeing things get to you, then perhaps they ought to be. Assuming people are one-dimensional isn’t realistic or healthy. Rattle those cages!

    So- don’t let others’ expectations of you create a situation where you have that same expectation for yourself- and feel trapped by that.

    I’m truly sorry to hear about your friend. Do what you need to do, and be how you need to be. You have such a wealth of wonderful traits, you’ll always have admirers. True ones.

    Hugs and condolences from the hobbit and the golem.

  4. What Q wrote is right. Remember that with Yin comes yang. You can’t be as strong as you are without being in touch with your vulnerabilities. I hope the memories of your dear friend help you through the sorrow.

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