11 comments on “Hard Black Women

  1. Rai – once again you have proven what an intelligent, thoughtful and thought provoking person that you are. This is an excellent topic to share with many so that others can think about it and possibly change their minds into a better response next time they encounter “a hard, black woman”.

    Keep on doing what you do so well. Thinking, writing and sharing. Much love to you my friend!

  2. Beautifully written – especially the last line (which is more true than so many will ever have the pleasure of knowing).

    I’ve been fortunate enough to have real-world education on the subjects you touched on (because what you wrote was just the surface – this is a topic that could have been expanded a thousand fold to encapsulate all the variations on such stigma that black women – fat and thin – have been labelled with for far, FAR too long) thanks to some amazing people in my life, in particular my S/O who is both black and plus-sized. I’ve always loved the contrast we have (me being skinny and blindingly white), but it was very little time before I was privy to the racism still so prevalent in so much of America – even just the looks a couple of such contrast receives are quite shocking to someone who’s never been put in that situation. Now to imagine women across the nation having to deal with that every day from so many little, beligerent, uneducated sources… it’s disheartening to think that this is STILL where we are as a social experiment – still hung up on labels and preconceptions that will just never frakking die.

    Excellent post, Rai. Very well said.

    • Andrew the above post was only the FIRST TWO pages of the stream that came out of me today. I just need to take all those furious thoughts organize them, perhaps find some stats and get it all out. As you rightly noted, I’ve barely scratched the surface. I plan to expound more on various subjects over the next few weeks. Trust me, I have a hell of a lot more to say.

  3. I love this. Thank you for speaking out and for airing the laundry maybe one day sooner rather than later our laundry will gleam bright with respect, understanding and love for all.

    As is the norm you are great.

  4. Really enjoyed this post. I’ve been contemplating similar thoughts and feelings. My context as a black woman in Africa is certainly different from yours but I find, more and more, that my experiences as a black woman of the world are distressingly similar. I really liked what you said about the fact that we confide in fellow black women and that perhaps our perspectives are not as clear as they could be because of that but recently I’ve found myself mired in an enormous amount of bitterness and anger that is taking an incredible spiritual resilience just to shrug off – to move past – and what makes it harder is that there are times I don’t think the issues should be moved past or ignored, that they deserve to be spoken about, brought to light, dealt with. The problem is that I always think that nobody else but other black women, where-ever in the world, will care and I’m f*cking tired. Nway, rant over. Really enjoyed this!

    • Monde!

      I would love to engage in an open DISCUSSION (not man bash) with my global sistas and see where the similarities/differences of our experiences lie in such matters. I suspect the paths may differ slightly, but in the overall journey, I’m sure we have more in common than not.

      Thanks for posting.

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