I’ve realized time has been a been a thing with me as of late. No, not as of late, that’s disingenuous, I’ve always had a thing about time. Especially around now, around early spring for the past few years, but really from around this time last year until now, I’ve been a little more hypersensitive to its passing because this year, specifically this day, holds a special bittersweetness.
For in a few short hours, it will be ten years to the day, to the moment I became a widow.
Within days of it I remember looking at a clock and calendar through tear-stained eyes, wondering exactly how I would feel right now. I also recall when a few very short years ago I had posted on how weird I felt the first time I forgot this day and did not mark its passing somehow.
Honestly, were it not for the decade marker today would likely have passed as another ordinary day in moment of my life. No more or less important than when a couple of weeks ago I realized another date and casually threw a “Happy Birthday Bill!” into the heavens while getting in the car with my best friend to go shopping. The thought coming and going as quickly as a finger snap.
All of those years we spent together
Well they’re part of my life forever
I hold the joy with the pain
And the truth is I miss you my friend
If time is a healer
Then all hearts that break
Are put back together again
‘Cause love heals the wound it makes
— Time Is A Healer / Eva Cassidy
And as I sit here typing, taking a moment to acknowledge this as I prep for training, I am happy to say I feel fine. Understandably wistful, but fine.
Time is indeed a healer.
Let’s see how others are slicing up their day….